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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              "I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people in the Boston

 telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University."     - William J. Buckley, Jr.

 

2005/9/18

How Do You Tell the Difference between a Democrat, a Republican and a Southern Republican?

@ 08:41 AM (35 months, 25 days ago)

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!  I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

 

Comment(s) »

  1. Assuming your point is to cast democrats (liberals) as wimps, I suggest you take a look at the congressional roster and check out how many republicans served in the military themselves. the sad truth is that chicken-hawks like cheney and hastert, and our prez are firmly rooted in the gop. A perfect counter-example is john kerry---he actually served, and notwithstanding the lame efforts of those right-wing swift boat republican hitmen, who can't even get their own story straight, it is evident who the wimps are. "w" has one of the worst war records imaginable---a child of privilege avoids 'nam, and then can't even fulfill that simple obligation because it interfered with
    his "politics" or partying, or whatever he was into then. his so called leadership is one of the most pathetic displays of ineptitude ever witnessed in this nation. exploding deficits, hostility to science, environmental awareness, or hostility to any other progressive ideas that may conflict with his narrow views brought on apparently by his strict religious thought guidelines. this guy won't be happy until he takes us forward into the 1950s! ronald reagan appears to be nearly intelligent compared to bush. i think they probably could agree that "trees cause pollution", like ronnie so eloquently announced years ago. the gop hasn't advanced much since then apparently. i usually just laugh at lame blogs like this, but you need to be advised of a little reality yourself from time to time. i am a far-left california liberal, my friend, but i served two tours in 'nam, and resent your attempt to cast your opponents as "soft", or indecisive. patriotism is not a gop exclusive, no matter how many times you say it. this might be seen as humor where you live
    (where weapon calibers are more valued than IQ), but entirely inaccurate. thanks for the opportunity to respond. your friend, buzz

    Comment by Buzz Daly— 2005/09/19 @ 08:51 AM — (Reply)

  2. My my......arent we the preachy hardass....whatsa matter CA dude? still not getting any?

    Comment by Offended by Know it Alls— 2005/09/21 @ 08:48 PM — (Reply)

  3. How do you tell apart Democrats & Republicans?

    A Democrat will tell you government spending is good and spend like there is no tomorrow.

    A Republican will tell you government spending is bad and spend twice as much and tell you spending is under control.

    Comment by angus— 2005/09/21 @ 11:31 PM — (Reply)

  4. Buzz Dally...what a load of immature tripe! "He" didn't fight....so he has no say in his security? You did fight (good onya!) ....so you are the final arbiter of courage? Spare my days!

    Comment by Gravelrash— 2005/09/22 @ 08:30 AM — (Reply)

  5. Great! I'm glad you all enjoyed my response--thanks so much. However, I did notice that no response actually contadicted anything I said. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the personal attacks, and they amuse me, but, sadly, they are an indication of an inferile mind, unable to respond in an intelligent way. Several questions were posed by my fellow respondents---here's the answers: Gravelrash asks if I am the final arbiter of courage. No, that lies with the individual, which was, by the way, the point I was trying to make. Thanks for noticing that point. Next, Offended by Know it Alls is somehow interested in my sex life----kinda' weird, but, sorry to disappoint you Offended, but I get plenty (and often!), like all California Dudes. Thanks for asking, though. Surf's Up---gotta' go pickup my hot girlfriends and hit the beach. Peace. Your friend, Buzz

    Comment by Buzz Daly— 2005/09/22 @ 01:54 PM — (Reply)

  6. psssssttttt.....buzz.....having sex with transvestites does NOT count.....say buzz...what drivel might you have to share re: Judge Roberts? oh and PLEASE do not paste in any photos of your transvestite pals or of yourself in drag.....ps.....who is ruth bader ginsberg to think she can make her own supreme court dominations? something called the constitution gives that power to the executive and legislative branches....surely they made her read that in law school...senility must be setting in

    Comment by Was once hit on by buzz daly— 2005/09/23 @ 04:09 PM — (Reply)

  7. Well Buzz if you knew anything about the military you would know this. In the National Guard and Reserves you have to get 50 points a year to have what's called a good year. Bush met or exceeded the number of points for every year he was in. Flying a jet is not exactly sitting behind a desk, as a matter of fact there were pilots in Bush's unit who died in crashed while training for Vietnam. I served twenty years in the Navy. Anyone who has 250 of his shipmates come out and say what the swift boat vets have said has a problem. I know from personal experience that even if you don't like one of your shipmates you still give him the respect he deserves just for the fact that he served. Something was wrong here for Kerry to get this response from his shipmates. Could it have been his war hero status both here and in Vietnam? Maybe his lack of support for my buddies and I? Could it be calling his shipmates baby killers in front of Congress and on national television? BTW Bush had a higher GPA in college than the haughty French looking senator from Massachusetts, who still hasn't signed his Form 180.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2005/10/19 @ 07:42 PM — (Reply)

  8. Well Buzz if you knew anything about the military you would know this. In the National Guard and Reserves you have to get 50 points a year to have what's called a good year. Bush met or exceeded the number of points for every year he was in. Flying a jet is not exactly sitting behind a desk, as a matter of fact there were pilots in Bush's unit who died in crashed while training for Vietnam. I served twenty years in the Navy. Anyone who has 250 of his shipmates come out and say what the swift boat vets have said has a problem. I know from personal experience that even if you don't like one of your shipmates you still give him the respect he deserves just for the fact that he served. Something was wrong here for Kerry to get this response from his shipmates. Could it have been his war hero status both here and in Vietnam? Maybe his lack of support for my buddies and I? Could it be calling his shipmates baby killers in front of Congress and on national television? BTW Bush had a higher GPA in college than the haughty French looking senator from Massachusetts, who still hasn't signed his Form 180.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2005/10/19 @ 07:45 PM — (Reply)

  9. hey buzz, were you upset that Bill Clinton didn't serve period?

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2005/10/20 @ 10:36 PM — (Reply)

  10. Bush served in the same National Guard that is over in Iraq bleeding for you, so don't deride their service. A 'nam vet ought to know better.

    Comment by Elmers Brother— 2005/10/20 @ 10:39 PM — (Reply)

  11. Typical of a democrat, BUZZy boy. I don't know if you even read the joke but did it say anything about anyone being in the military? Flip-Flop! One more thing. I don't know if you noticed but John Kerry kind of lost the election...

    Comment by Neo— 2005/11/02 @ 07:55 PM — (Reply)

  12. Love it! Thanks for sharing.

    Comment by — 2006/01/21 @ 12:19 AM — (Reply)

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