a small dose of reality

A Columbus, Ohio man held a press conference today to announce that he has yet to see Britney Spears’ vagina, in spite of the nearly ubiquitous images of it readily available on the Internet.  The joker probably will claim next he hasn't you-tubed Saddam's hanging.

Moe, Larry and Curly above claim they never have porn surfed

Douglas ********, 33, of Baltimore, Maryland said that he was making his announcement in order to cement his place in history as the only person in North America, if not the industrialized world, never to have seen Ms. Spears’ private parts.

“I have not seen Britney Spears’ vagina,” he said to a skeptical press corps. “I have been really busy with ferreting out conspiracies and making up other conspiracies and I haven’t gotten around to it.”

But even as Douglas made his startling announcement, friends and experts alike came forward to cast doubt on his claim that he has never seen the recording artist’s omnipresent genitalia.

“I like Douglas, but this whole thing smacks of a hoax,” said Miller Mos, one of his drinking buddies. “I think it’s kind of sad that he would do something like this to get attention.”

Davis Logsdon, who studies the impact of celebrities’ private parts on American culture at the University of Minnesota, agreed that the claim seemed “far-fetched,” but allowed that it was “in the realm of possibility.”

“It’s possible that someone could have a working Internet connection and still not see Britney Spears’ vagina,” Mr. Logsdon said. “It’s not like he claimed that he never saw Paris Hilton’s vagina.”