a small dose of reality

keeping it semi real, promoting conservatives, taking potshots at fools, democrats other than Obama, liberals, the left, know it alls, hillary clinton, the dnc, etc., reviews of models, pundits and blogs

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              "I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people in the Boston

 telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University."     - William J. Buckley, Jr.

 

2007/6/25

Major Airlines Struggle to Overcome Maintenance Issues

@ 08:05 PM (14 months, 11 days ago)

 

Taking matters into their own hands, pilots and maintenance crews have implemented a direct reporting system.  Pilots send a text labeled "P" explaining the problem.  Maintenance fixes the problem as soon as possible and sends a text marked "S" explaining the solution.

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land v ery rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

Copywrite 2007  -  Barry G.

Comment(s) »

  1. oldie but a goodie ....

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/06/25 @ 10:16 PM — (Reply)

  2. Yo Aza ... you back from your latest golf junket?

    Comment by Ernie Els— 2007/06/25 @ 10:34 PM — (Reply)

  3. That last one is great. :mrgreen:

    Comment by Brooke— 2007/06/26 @ 07:43 AM — (Reply)

  4. Oh ya...I'm just tryn to get over Tigers last loss.....He may had gained a son but ....he lost a U.S. open .....by that much as "MAX" WOULD SAY .

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/06/26 @ 10:35 AM — (Reply)

  5. I mean DAUGHTER ...I thought I heard it was a SON ????? What happened ?

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/06/26 @ 11:11 AM — (Reply)

  6. Why are people so preoccupied with Tiger? He doesn't even have an illiterative name like mine?

    Comment by Ernie Els— 2007/06/26 @ 02:54 PM — (Reply)

  7. Letz c .....U.S. OPEN ....E.E. places #51 ...or wuz that 52 ....Oh well ...I forget which one ...Tiger .....????

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/06/26 @ 03:40 PM — (Reply)

  8. Let's see. Is E. E. cool or what? Does E. E. ever have to worry about money ever again? Does E. E. sweat? Cave under pressure and miss the cut like Mickelson? E. E. isn't the "Big Easy" for nothing dude.

    Comment by Ernie Els— 2007/06/26 @ 05:57 PM — (Reply)

  9. good save ....

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/06/26 @ 06:08 PM — (Reply)

  10. Just the truth, nothing but the truth. Seriously, E. E. has truckloads of cash.
    So what's hot Aza, besides Burns and the Dr. under their collars, no offense intended?

    Comment by Ernie Els— 2007/06/26 @ 06:16 PM — (Reply)

  11. ya..they are hot under the collar all right . But so is the topics the 2 r talkin about......I dont understand why our governmemt is run by grosse idiots. How did these democrate and republican idiots get elected....mabe we should start a new political party and call it "NO DUMMIES ALLOWED" ....

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/06/26 @ 06:52 PM — (Reply)

  12. Not to worry , the immigration bill is going nowhere despite a few last gasps before it sinks for good. Tancredo will spearhead the illegal alien crackdrown in the Fred Thomposon administration. Is Mitt Romney the VP candidate?

    Comment by Ernie Els— 2007/06/26 @ 10:20 PM — (Reply)

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