a small dose of reality

In a sign that he has no intention of going away quietly, former Vice President Dick Cheney embarked today on a nationwide road trip in a sound truck equipped with a state-of-the-art bullhorn.  The formerly reclusive Mr. Cheney has been a ubiquitous fixture on Sunday talk shows and right-wing radio programs in recent weeks, but his decision to tour the nation in a 2000-watt sound truck shows a heightened determination to spread his pro-torture message from coast to coast.

According to aides to the former vice president, Mr. Cheney had briefly considered starring in an IMAX film called "The Dick Cheney 3-D Experience" before settling on the less costly sound truck idea.  But Mr. Cheney's "Pro-torture Tour '09" has not managed to skirt controversy thus far, as the former Vice President has already had to contend with grievances about the noise levels produced by his high-wattage truck.

Residents of the town of Keene, New Hampshire were awakened at 5 AM this morning by a familiar voice blaring, "We're less safe than we were under the last administration.  Run for your lives!"  As townsfolk rubbed their eyes, Mr. Cheney's voice could be heard extolling waterboarding and other enhanced interrogation techniques.  For his part, a buoyant Mr. Cheney brushed off complaints from the New Hampshire citizens that he had disturbed the peace with his early-morning rant: "All this proves is that sleep deprivation works."

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What took them so long?

ISRAEL plans to raze homes and other structures just inside the Gaza Strip to stop Palestinian militants from using them as cover to build tunnels for attacks and smuggling, Israeli media reported today.

The YNet news website quoted an unnamed senior officer in the army's southern command as saying the aim was to "clean" a 1km wide strip of land.

It was unclear if this meant southern Gaza, where most tunnels have been found, or the entire coastal strip.

The army has long expressed concern about Palestinian gunmen using tunnels in southern Gaza to smuggle weapons in from Egypt and to also carry out attacks on the Jewish state.

Israel's current month-long military offensive in Gaza was launched after militants tunnelled under the border fence in the south and killed two Israeli soldiers and captured another.

"Usually the digging is done from a house, a greenhouse or anywhere else that is meant to cover the activity," the officer said.

"Therefore we have decided to conduct a different policy and just shave and attack any structure or shelter that could be used as a cover for an entrance to a tunnel. This way any attempt by a Palestinian to dig a tunnel will be stopped."

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, 
Severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with 
The threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,

Well, what do we have here. Looks like a small case of some people being able to dish it out, but not take it.  Let's start at the top.  The story begins at Michigan State University with a mechanical engineering professor named Indrek Wichman.  Wichman sent an e-mail to the Muslim Student's Association.  The e-mail was in response to the students' protest of the Danish cartoons that portrayed the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist.  The group had complained the cartoons were "hate speech." Enter Professor Wichman. In his e-mail, he said the following:

Dear Muslim Association:   

As a professor of Mechanical Engineering here at MSU I intend to protest your protest.     I am offended not by cartoons, but by more mundane things like  beheadings of civilians, cowardl y attacks on public buildings, suicide murders, murders of Catholic priests (the latest in Turkey!), burnings of Christian Churches, the continued persecution of Coptic Christians in Egypt, the imposition of Sharia law on non-Muslims, the rapes of Scandinavian girls and women (called "whores" in your culture), the murder of film directors in Holland, and the rioting and looting in Paris France.

   This is what offends me, a soft-spoken person and academic, and many, many, many of my colleagues. I counsel you dissatisfied, aggressive, brutal, and uncivilized slave-trading Moslems to be very aware of this as you proceed with your infantile "protests."

   If you do not like the values of the West -- see the 1st Amendment -- you are free to leave.  I hope for God's sake that most of you choose that option.  Please return to your ancestral homelands and build them up yourselves instead of troubling Americans.

   Cordially, I. S. Wichman , Professor of Mechanical Engineering"

   Well!   As you can imagine, the Muslim group at the university didn't like this too well. They're demanding Wichman be reprimanded and mandatory diversity training for faculty and a seminar on hate and discrimination for freshman. How nice. But now the Michigan chapter of CAIR has jumped into the fray. CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, apparently doesn't believe that the good professor had the right to express his opinion.

   For its part, the university is standing its ground. They say the e-mail was private, and they don't intend to publicly condemn his remarks. That will probably change. Wichman says he never intended the e-mail to be made public, and wouldn't have used the same strong language if he'd known it was going to get out.

   How's the left going to handle this one? If you 're in favor of the freedom of speech, as in the case of Ward Churchill, will the same
protections be demanded for Indrek Wichman? I doubt it. Hey folks, send this to everybody and ask them to do the same and tell them to keep passing it around till the whole country gets it.  We are in a war.

The befuddled dopes won't find what they are expecting but what they deserve.